Hate Mail From Some Halibut
dan tynan on Mar 29 2008 at 1:40 pm | Filed under: Apple, PC World, Steve Jobs, iPhone
I didn’t even know my “open letter to Steve Jobs” had been posted at PCworld.com until I got my first piece of hate mail on the topic. It’s so juicy I had to reprint it here (though I’ve withheld the identity of the letter writer). I expected to be flamed by the usual crew of Apple Acolytes who roam the Net righting all wrongs against Apple products, but I didn’t quite expect to be roasted by an aggrieved Lindsay Lohan fan. He begins….
Re: Your letter to Jobs and iPhone… It’s pretty much the same tired stuff all you tech-journos have been spouting for the last 9-10 months (why you think that Jobs or anyone else who runs humungous companies actually give a shit what you think is beyond me, but that axe is in my other set of drawers).
First, Steve Jobs only cares what one person on the planet thinks, and that person’s name is Steve Jobs. Thus the whole letter writing schtick was a joke — though apparently not obvious enough for my faithful correspondent. Also: Keeping an axe in your drawers is probably a bad idea. Better to keep it in a holster where won’t cut off something important.
One thing stuck in my craw. Your comment that Lohan drinks margaritas to excess was pathetically unimaginative and a cheap shot to boot. I have no idea whether she’s always buzzed on tequila, but I’ll bet you don’t either. I’ve never seen photos of the two of you rolling in a gutter in front a Hollywood nightclub in People or on Dailymail.com, so I suspect you’re not close friends.
I am always very careful to avoid being photographed while rolling in the gutter. When rolling around in the gutter with Lindsay, I use her as a human shield against the paparazzi. Hence the lack of photos.
Why in the hell do you think the poor woman’s addiction to alcohol is relevant? It’s just shitty journalism, bud. You probably wouldn’t make fun of your alcoholic old man’s boozing, but you think it’s funny if it’s someone else’s problem?
This guy obviously doesn’t know me at all. I would be the first person to make fun of my old man’s boozing, if anybody cared.
No, I’m not a fan of Lohan. I couldn’t name a movie of hers if my life depended on it. However, I’m a fan of good solid reporting, clever writing and fresh ideas. At the moment, you’re stinking up the Internet.
Freaky Friday and Mean Girls are two of my personal faves. Actually I feel sorry for Lindsay. It was a cheap joke, and if I could have thought of someone more hateful to make fun of, I would have. (Paris Hilton jokes are so outre these days.)
The real point here, of course, is that I violated the 11th Geek Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Take Jobs or Apple Products in Vain. (#12 is Thou Shalt Not Covet Windows, which is virtually impossible to break.) He’s just another pissed off Apple fanboy — and there’s nothing more fun than pissing off the fanboys.
You’ll find more of them here.
